You may have noticed my marked radio silence of late. I felt that I didn’t have much to report on and, as per usual, I have been crazy busy! However, I have come by to update you on some MAJOR movement in our pursuit of IVF.
As outlined in my previous postings, there is a very set and rigorous order of operations to on-boarding and receiving treatment at Walter Reed. I received a call Wednesday from the business office letting me know the hospital was accepting payment. Thanks to my many, many contributors, clients, amazing work team and my hubs, we just barely scraped by to completely pay in full for our treatment. I may be having ramen for dinner for the next couple months but, WE DID IT!! I am not quite sure how we will cover flights, accommodations or the cost of such a long trip, but the first hurdle is cleared. Of course, I was immediately jonesing for the dates after but, in true military style, I had to wait another day for that. Today, I received a complete list of dates for my treatment. While I won’t publish those here (the internet can be a weird place) if you want to know specifically the dates of this incredible endeavor, just give me a call!
Y’all. I don’t think it has even hit me yet. I still don’t feel like it is real. I am sure it will all come crashing down on me before too long and I will gladly take the opportunity to truly bathe in the joy and elation of this news. There are so many stresses and difficulties that I have stumbled on during my trek down this road that the relief I am sure to experience soon will be so very welcome.
One of the best things about this news is that there is a whole new list of actionable items for me to tick off. Some will have to wait til we can recover from the incredible financial blow of paying for an IVF cycle in full (even at a discounted rate), like flights and accommodations, but some I can take care of now! You guys know how much I like things to do! I now have to arrange for Tim’s sample to be shipped from the bank in Texas to the embryologist in DC! And let me just tell you, that is a mountain of fun paperwork!!
Surreal!!! I am a little more than a month away from FINALLLLLYYYYY starting this cycle that I have hoped and dreamed and been denied and prayed for.
Now, all of the things that have to work together to continue to make this a reality are so incredibly intricate and vast. So many people have supported me through this and I will continue to rely on you until I am back home and, very hopefully, with child (or at least a few cryo-containers of healthy embabies).
To my work family:
Elaine, Alan, Lea, Pam, Chrissy, Paul, SB, Max, Scotty and many others – I am so very humbled by you for supporting me through this process, for letting me take all those phone calls, print forms, fax things, facilitate the travel I have had to do and still kept me on board. Beyond that, you have cheered for me, accommodated my needs and shared in my joy and sorrows. You have kept me busy and occupied during Tim’s deployment and helped me cope with the massive burden I have endured. You have been a constant source of challenge and encouragement and I love coming to work everyday.
To my clients and photo family:
Truly, you are my family, too now. Not a session goes by that I don’t struggle with having your beautiful children on the other end of my lens. You are true heroes to understand and accept that I am happy for you while I am sad for me. Some of you have let me cry on your shoulder and all of you have rejoiced with me through my small triumphs. You have been patient in waiting for my product when you know I am struggling to get through post processing of your wonderful families. You have shared my story and earnestly hoped and prayed and willed the same journey of motherhood and parenthood for me that you so cherish. You have helped to fund this dream of mine. You have shown me how much I want to be like you. You have influenced me in natural childbirth, gentle parenting and all of your crunchy ways that I can only hope to achieve for myself. You have given me power and shown me that all of my many emotions and feelings are valid. I am so grateful to you. This group also includes all of the people that have helped me grow my photo business as well and without you helping me run my business and picking up my slack, I would not be able to continue on this long road (I’m looking at you April, Tish and Matt)
To my doggy people:
First, Allie – YES YOU ALLIE! Thank you for loving MY dogs like your own. Y’all, I always knew it was true that once you find YOUR dog sitter, you will never be happy with anyone else because I feel like I am that for many of my clients, but I never truly KNEW that until I found Allie. Not only are you an amazing friend, but you love my first kids and were willing to drop everything to care for them while I go off and try and make them a sibling. All the worry about how my babes are doing is nonexistent with you here and I can’t thank you enough. To Shelly who has selflessly agreed to leave her home, and sit my house and kids while Allie is unavailable, wrote words about me that made me cry, encouraged people to donate to my dream and always ensured my home was full of love and fur, you are a gem in this world. I could just pinch myself to make sure i am not dreaming because I am sure God put you in my path and I have enjoyed every moment spent with you at the shelter, the dog park or chatting about life and dogs. Through your own incredible suffering and sorrows, you have selflessly given to everyone around you and I hope that I can one day take the time to fill you back up in whatever way I can. Y’all it takes a village to make a baby, not just raise them! Second, all of my dog clients and friends deserve such recognition because I never would have imagined how you would rally around me. Not only have you guys shared my story, but you have made me feel like you are invested in it and you have also financially made this dream a reality for me. Kim, Kat, Lora, Shelly, the Hernando Animal Shelter as well as so many more and all of your fur kids – you are my family and I am so lucky to have you and your kids through this season of my life!
To mine and Tim’s friends:
You know, the ones who will drop everything to help me move furniture, the ones that protect me from insensitive people, the ones who call and check on me, the ones that invite me out to dinner and the ones who I look up to as parents and amazing people – you guys have made this so much easier for Tim AND me. We are both so grateful that you are part of our lives and you were HAND PICKED by Tim to watch his home 6. Some of you intimately know what I am going through and it is so relieving that I just don’t have to explain everything to you. I know that if a #Millikid is in our future you will celebrate on the same level we will because you care that much about us. I can’t wait for that to happen!! We love you all to the moon and back and THANKS for keeping me as sane as I’m gonna get.
To our families:
You are our heart, soul and breath. I would literally have lost my mind if you weren’t there every step of the way to witness and encourage me. You have given and given and given. You are making sure I am not alone during our cycle, you are having me to dinner, you are helping me clean my house, you are my everything. More than that, you have gifted me the genetics and the example to be strong enough to endure this trial. I know both Tim and I are ecstatic to be able to welcome a new person into this amazing family of ours so that you can continue to pass on your strength, wisdom, cooking skills, love of life, faith, and hilarity to any new member of our tribe.
To my Tim:
You. Are. My. Rock. There is no way on this planet I could ever go through this process with any one else. Even from what sometimes feels like a million miles away, you have made this extremely difficult time easier. You are always the perfect sounding board. You never shy away from the hard stuff. You never make me feel bad or less for having a rough day or being insecure about discerning our future and our family. You bring my dreamer head back to reality when I need it but never hold me back from flying. You are encouraging, smart, realistic and you never stop growing. You always, always know how to bring some levity to my sometimes very serious and brooding soul. I love that this is just the beginning for us. You, Tim, are going to be such a great dad. I can not wait to make that dream come true for us. I can not wait to see you grow into that role and to live that season of our life. I am thankful for all the sacrifices you make for us. I am proud of the life you have made for yourself and I am so blessed that you invited me to be part of it and that you work tirelessly to make our life together exponentially greater than our lives were before we met. You are the perfect person for me. I promise, everyday to strive to be the perfect person for you, the perfect home for your child, the perfect mother once that child is earthside and the perfect partner in all our endeavors. While I am sure I will fall short or even fail some times, I am certain that you will be right beside me to pick me back up, dust me off and remind me that I am capable, that I am competent and that I will master all my goals. I love you, Tim, and I am so ready to take this on with you.
This adventure is just beginning. I have a difficult, uncertain, rocky road ahead and I am geared up to take it on with all of you.
We . Officially . Have . Dates .