Stims day 7, guys. We are quickly approaching the home stretch now! And, true to my over all approach to life, we are arriving at the finish line a lot more rapidly than intended. If you know me, you know I want what I want and I want it right now. This is part of why our infertility diagnoses was so difficult for me to swallow. BUT, I am so proud that I can stay true to me and really push the limits for what’s normal. (This is a sort of joke). More on this in a minute, first I’d like to talk about the snapshot above, a snapshot representative of #dailylife on stim day seven. Meds, meds, meds!! Many vials of meds a day, a dose pen there at the bottom, syringes, needles, alcohol prep pads and my handy dandy sharps container. I sort of knew that was part of it, even though I was really blindsided by the volume of shots I am having to take. Man, just look at those daunting giant hcg vials in the center and their accompanying intramuscular needle! I also got a little more than i bargained for, too. Check out that belly band at the bottom left, those (I am not the proud owner of three different colors) have been a lifesaver. I really had no idea my belly would grow this big!!
Part of me thinks it stinks, its uncomfortable, it has me off balance and there’s not even a baby in there yet. But another part of me loves that I am responding so well and that I am getting a little sneak peek of what it will be like to be actually four months preggo. Leggings, house shoes, belly bands and chunky sweaters have been my JAM.
You may also notice my amazing sugar skull lucky socks! Those were gifted to me by my Aunt Paula and Uncle David. They took a short trip down to New Orleans and they asked if I wanted anything. Of course, I told them I wanted some voodoo IVF magic something and they, so perfectly, brought me back some socks. Little did they know that “lucky socks” are totally a thing in IVF culture, so I couldn’t have been happier. As you may or may not know by now, you spend a ton of time with your feet in stirrups when you do an IVF cycle. Hospitals and doctors offices also tend to be freezing cold. I suppose the “tradition” was born out of necessity and expounded upon over time by creative women. You can find a myriad of encouraging ‘lucky IVF socks’ on etsy and amazon. I love that mine were gifted to me. If you look closely, you can see that they say “K-Bell” on the bottom, which is super special for me as they have always called me Katie Belle.
Of course, you can also see my ice packs, water bottle and my very necessary Benefiber. You know you’re desperate when you mix a packet of Benefiber into a pint of coconut water, but I’ve already regaled you with that story and I can assure you we are moving well up to this point!
Not having to go in for blood work or ultrasound yesterday, I spent most of the day in bed catching up on work. Luckily, since most of what i do happens on a computer, I am able to get a lot accomplished from anywhere I happen to be. It was nice to just cuddle up and dig in to some orders and marketing stuff for work. Of course, I am doing that again today, but I also had another round of blood work and an ultrasound to check up everything today. Good news and also not optimal, but still ok news. I still have many growing follicles. On my right ovary, two have taken the lead and are already measuring at 19mm each. The rest are between 9mm and 15mm, as they should be. The good part of this is that I still have many growing follicles, the not optimal news is that we don’t want those 19’s to exceed 23mm before the others are able to catch up and grow to 18mm-20mm. The left ovary looks great with all follicles measuring between 11mm and 17mm. Right now I have 24 follicles between my two ovaries quickly reaching maturity. My endometrium (or my uterine lining) is measuring at 11mm, right on time. All of this, in laymen’s terms, means that my surgery (or retrieval) may be a whole lot earlier than expected. Partly because of my follicle growth and partly because my progesterone doubled in one 24 hour period instead of in one 48 hour period, as it should and the docs really want to mitigate my risk for OHSS and OT. From today onward, I will be monitored by blood work and ultrasound daily.
I also turned in all my pre-op paperwork today and received my “phone on board” into the OR dept. The recovery nurse called me and was so nice, she answered all of my ridiculous questions and was very patient with me. Honestly, my heart has been pounding ever since I received that phone call. I know everyone can tell me that it is a simple procedure and no big deal and I can try my best to fake strong but I am SO nervous about this. I am nervous about actually going under sedation, about how my body will react, about how to procedure will go, about the risks of this surgery, about how many eggs they will retrieve, and even about how I will manage the pain afterwards. I seriously told April earlier that I will need them to check my blood pressure tomorrow because my heart for real is so tense and banging. ALL of my immediate hopes and dreams are contingent on this surgery and the two procedures following it and then will rest solely on my body. It is a TON of pressure. Will Tim understand or hold it against me if my body fails? Am I ready to be pregnant? I am on such an unstoppable train and even though I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I want all of this, this is also the time that all of the anxiety, questioning and any seed of doubt is revealed. It is this time where I can only hope for the best and fall back blindly on the one thing I know to be true.
“Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.” -Romans 12:12
Since I am getting labs daily, I promise to also update you daily as well from this point forward.
We did get to blow off some steam today! April and I went to go see Bohemian Rhapsody, the story of Queen on the IMAX. It was amazing, I cried, I laughed and I really was entranced by the whole thing. You should definitely go see it. We are also so excited for Taylor to come tomorrow! I can’t wait to pick her up and get some DC sightseeing done. I know April is eager to do this as well but she has been so patient waiting for Taylor to get here so I don’t have to do it twice, I am really grateful. Shelly also FaceTimed me today so I could see my fur kids. It was so nice and I miss them so very much. There are dogs all over the Walter Reed Campus and a lot where we are too as many people are in the same complex convalescing from injuries. Families come to visit their service members and bring that services members pet to help them heal. It’s really awesome and I love pet friendly places but it sure makes me miss mine something awful!
I can’t wait to update you and all the positive vibes today are very welcome! I am feeling just a little over my head today.